The Truth About My Mental Health for #MHAW18

It’s Mental Health Awareness Week. I don’t know what ‘mental health’ conjures up for you. 

Maybe it’s what you battle with daily. 

Maybe you know a close family member or friend who battles with it themselves. 

Or maybe you live in fear of the return of mental health issues.

"Take no.13"

I’ve never publicly spoken up about my experience of mental health.

And I’m not going to delve into it now. But what I will do is share a quote from my book:

“It wasn’t until I experienced anxiety that I realised rationale and logic don’t keep you from it”

Anxiety made (and makes) me feel like I'm out of control, lost, afraid, exhausted and alone. I couldn't bear the realisation that there was no quick-fix or way of rationalising my way out of it. Anxiety defies logic and I found that the scariest thing of all. 

You may be surprised to find out that I've experienced this. Part of me hates that it surprises you. I wonder whether it's because of the unseen stories of many smiling social media posts...even mine. 

Behind every social media smile is a story. Like I've hinted at, what many people don’t know about my story is the place that anxiety plays in it. My hope is that no matter what the story is behind your smile, you know that you aren’t alone.

When I experienced anxiety, what brought me a sense of comfort and courage was sharing my story with people I trusted. We don’t always see the story behind someone’s smile. Most stories contain a battle or a few. But, when we share our story, we release others to share theirs too. Be assured that you are doing well. You are seen, you are known and you are loved.

I do hope that I am and can continue to become someone of authenticity (or genuineness); sharing the whole truth about who I am and the life that I live (the pretty AND ugly truth). And this MHAW, I want you to know that I haven't got it all sussed...I'm on a journey when it comes to mental health too.

Read more by pre-ordering More Than Just Pretty.

P.S. IT'S OK NOT TO BE ABLE TO SMILE.

#MHAW18

The Truth About The Impact of Comparison

We talk about comparison quite a lot nowadays, thank goooooodness.

What we don’t talk about as much, probably because we can’t fully embody or understand it, is the extent to which comparison impacts us.

SOCIAL COMPARISON

Comparison moves us from the mentality of ‘Me And You’ to ‘Me Versus You’. There’s no wonder we’ve found ourselves in a movement of “female empowerment” because our minds are so disempowered by one another (if we’re not careful).

What do I mean? I mean that when we scroll through Instagram we see other girls posts and rather than feeling inspired or excited by them, our default is to find something negative about them. Although we don’t always say this kind of this out loud, our minds are already composing their thoughts…

“that outfit is so last year”…“her boyfriend isn’t even that good looking”… “it’s a little lame to take selfies nowadays surely, she’s just done her make up for no reason and is sat in her bedroom”… “she’s stunning, I’d never look like that”… “pffft I’d pull that off WAY better than her”

Some of these are extreme examples, and I promise they actually took me a whole to conjure up!!! It’s not nice trying to work out how our minds trick us into ‘Me Verses You’ mentalities. But it’s also not a new concept. Psychologists saw ‘Me Versus You’ or ‘Us Versus You’ mentalities occur from the simple act of putting two peoples into groups. There is something in human nature (when it isn’t challenged) which creates comparison and leads to competition.

One thing you may have noticed is that social comparison seems to lead the mind into two different categories of thinking:

• Extensive grandeur (words relating: flashiness, swankiness, lavishness, pretentiousness): “pffft I’d pull that off WAY better than her”.

Versus

• Depressive inadequacy (words relating: deficient, scarcity, absence, failure): “she’s stunning, I’d never look like that”.

Both categories of thinking lead us into isolation. We either ‘big ourselves up’ or ‘big ourselves down’, and are left alone in both of those places.

No one can relate to one another. And then, our longing for be-longing isn’t satisfied.

So, let’s step into authentic, genuine female empowerment with our heads held high, our minds aware of their tendencies, our hearts full of love, and our actions openly and honestly supportive of what girls and women are doing all across the nation.

Oh, and the men who openly who embrace all of those truths too.

I'll keep you posted.

P.S. you can now PRE-ORDER More Than Just Pretty here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/More-Than-Just-Pretty-Discover/dp/028107786X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525264226&sr=8-1&keywords=MORE+THAN+JUST+PRETTY