The Truth About Girlhood Today

What scares me the most about Girlhood today, currently, in the 21^st century, is that it’s so different than for previous generations.

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THE SIMILIARITIES

Now, there are many things that aren’t different. For example, I talk about ‘corset controversy’ in the 16^th century in my book; the expectation for women to drastically alter their bodies as fashions change (being slaves to their body). This isn’t too dissimilar from the pressure to drastically alter our bodies or appearance with changing fashions and craze’s today. Again, this is only one example of many.

THE FACT

However, I recently had a conversation with a teenage girl who was explaining her struggles. She explained how she wished her parents had even the slightest inkling about what she was going through on a daily basis – but that they didn’t because things have changed so much since their teenagehood.

The pressure to fit in is monumental because the failure to do so is threatening to their identity. The promotion of perfection through posting pouting and posed photos, full of pretence is overwhelming and constant.

Most of all, the feeling of isolation is mega. Community and conversation is digital. Mentorship is incredibly low. Spaces to have fun, escape, be still, fail, let go and just ‘be’ are minimal. Funding for chaplains, mentoring and support in schools is struggling. There is a lack of people who emphasise with their struggles in their lives. Competition and comparison is predominant at school, even in friendships. Authenticity  and openness is risky.

THE TRUTH

I have frequent conversations with my husband in relation to our role as Youth Workers. We talk about how we need to be real about our story with young people, what we experienced at school/in life, to emphasise with their story and allow them to open up about it. Otherwise, we risk alienating ourselves from their lives in entirety.  

This is one of the aims of Belle Workshops; to be real with my struggles to allow girls to be real with their own. This creates mutual empathy and conversation and allows for the exploration of perceived ‘norms’ and ‘realities’. I.e. the thought that we are what we look like can be assessed for its reality; it’s not true.

I wonder how you can be a driving force behind change for girlhood in your family, church, community and/or nation?

Let’s discuss.

#17days until #MTJP

The Truth About The “Toblerone Tunnel”

Oh my. If I could scream through computer screens then I would. I am currently trying to compose myself and my thoughts so I can write a relatively helpful blog post about this very new craze/fad/trend, The Toblerone Tunnel. And no, it’s nothing to do with chocolate (shame).

Did you think the thigh gap was far enough? Think again. The Toblerone Tunnel is taking over Instagram and is about women forming a triangular-shaped gap by the bottom and the tops of the upper thighs. 

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Because I couldn't face putting a photo up of the actual Toblerone Tunnel

I did some research (as always right!)

When I googled ‘Toblerone Tunnel’, the first few articles scared me. This is what I found in articles 1 to 5:

- “Celebrities show off ‘Toblerone tunnels’ on Instagram” | Daily Mail Online

Why does it matter what celebrities are doing? And why are they doing it in the first place? I can’t help but feel saddened and frustrated by their blatant inability to not care for the wellbeing of women and girls who are influenced by them (whether explicitly or implicitly). 

- “What is the Toblerone Tunnel thigh gap and how do you get it?” | The Sun

The question we don’t need to therefore be asking is how to get it. Neither do we need to be giving women and girls tools for how to be unhealthily obsessed with their body’s; not an unlikely response to this article. 

- “Ladies, Do you have a Toblerone Tunnel?...”| The Sun

So what? The problem with asking these questions is that our minds, uncontrollably, race through reasons why we don’t, whether we should, how we could, what would happen if we did, etc.

- “Toblerone Tunnel is the Latest Sexy Craze Sweeping Instagram” | Maxim

Lets not start labelling this stuff ‘sexy’. Lets not glamorize what is unhealthy, unhelpful and purely damaging to the health, wellbeing and esteem of women and girls.

- “Kate Wright and Kendall Jenner show off their Toblerone Tunnels…” | The Mirror

Again, it makes me sad that influencers choose to conform to this craze. It makes me sad that popularity trumps morality.

- “The Toblerone Tunnel: A Bikini Body Trend to Ignore” | Womens Health

FINALLY. They go on to write about how being healthy is about fitness and strength, not aesthetics; which this craze is trying to sway us back to. 

Remember this is promoting unrealistic expectations, and you’re not the only one faced by it. Lets not conform to it. Lets rise against it. Lets be assured of our worth and be confident in who we are today. 

The Toblerone Tunnel is a “must-need” that you DON’T NEED this Summer (and every flipping day for that matter). Remember that healthy looks different on everyone. Remember that your body is not against you. Remember that your thoughts should not bully your body. 

I talk more about body image in my book, More Than Just Pretty.  

https://www.amazon.co.uk/More-Than-Just-Pretty-Discover/dp/028107786X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525264226&sr=8-1&keywords=MORE+THAN+JUST+PRETTY